Finding Happiness

Many people appear to be happy on the outside, but how many people do you truly meet that change your life?  How many of those that have the initial appearance of happiness actually radiate light and joy.  Can those individuals actually brighten up a room just by walking in it?  It is something that we all strive for and is even often how we determine our success, but what we don't realize, it is not as simple as finding a new job, or meeting that perfect partner, or living a life through kids, friends, or family, but it is a mindset.  When you find your mindset, you can honestly say you are not happy because you bought that new pair of shoes and you don't rely on that big promotion, but you are happy for no reason at all.  

So how do you perceive life?  What do these specific individuals do differently to be happy in each and every situation they are in.  It's not their cultural background or if they are wealthy, and their happiness doesn't depend on other people, but it is their perspective on life.  Although I do not think I've mastered the art of being happy (at least for no reason), I know there are key points I can work on.  I think that with practice and patience, anyone can turn around their perspective, and even their life.  Here are a few things to get you thinking on your perspective.

1.  Look for the lesson:  I truly believe that everything happens for a reason (yes, I know it is a bit cliche), but without this mindset we tend to play the blame game and hold the victim card.  We can always wonder, "Why me" or "Can a just catch a break"; but next time you are in a particular situation, instead ask yourself, "What can I learn from this experience?"  You will almost always come out a better person.

2.  Find your religion and Higher Power:  Whether it is God or not, maybe it is nature itself, take time for meditation, reflection, and connect with your Higher Power.  I do not understand how someone could think that their life is pure coincidence.   I enjoy using my connection with God to find my purpose on Earth and I will live each day trying to fulfill it.

3.  Find passion out of little things:  Is there a few small things that make your heart sing?  Something so small yet it brings you true happiness.  Maybe it's a love of dancing that makes you feel free or an interest in a sport.  Take that passion to the next level and lose the fear of trying and failing.  If it truly makes you happy, can you honestly fail?

4.  Stop having FEAR:  Stop the fear of rejection, fear of failure, or fear of judgement and start feeling fear of regret.  Yes, you may have to step out of your comfort zone to find success, but what lies at the end will completely override that feeling of being afraid.  The more you try new things, the more you will find comfort in that exhilarating ride of moving from comfort to the unknown.  Do not let your fear stop you from doing what you love.

5.  Focus on the solution, not the problem:  A lot of the time we catch ourselves putting our energy into complaining about a particular problem, but what if we focused all of our energy on finding the solution?  Work toward solving the problem, and you will find a sense of fulfillment.  You will expand yourself by using your imagination and being creative.

6.  Take care of yourself (body) first:  Although this seems completely self-explanatory, this one always gets pushed to the back burner.  When your body is well nourished with a balanced nutrition and exercise is a regular part of our routine, our mind-body relationship will be in sync.  You must take care of one to be healthy in the other.

7.  Give yourself the break you need:  Quit beating yourself up so much and learn to forgive.  Do you forgive others or hold grudges?  If you answered forgiveness, then do the same for yourself.  Instead of feeling guilty for actions that may have been done in the past, allow yourself to feel the emotions and move on.  We can not change the past, so quit reliving those little things that you may not be proud of and move towards happiness.  You will not truly be able to find it until you let those go.  You are a human who makes mistakes, allow yourself to make them, but also decide how you will respond.  Learn from those mistakes and move forward.  Always live in the present moment.

8.  Finally, LOVE:  Love yourself, love nature, love God, love people, love life.  This is something that I have not always allowed myself to do, but something I will continue to practice.  Whether you share it by helping others, offering a smile as you pass by, or by just putting the effort into loving yourself, your peace will show outwardly in the sense of respect.  Remember that nobody is perfect, but that is what makes each of us who we are.  Start by having respect for those around you and remember that everyone is fighting their own battles.  You will never know someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.

oxox, Em